Scruffy bastard

 

Mash Pot
Piza
£1 Coins
Dog Food
White Sliced
Beans
J.P
Tuna
2 Milk
Tuna
Shuffling along with his fecal stained grey joggers on, Craig is a scruffy sight. Poor bugger can’t even remember if he put Tuna on the list!

Craig do us all a favour and stick some Persil on there next time. Oh and don’t forget the TUNA!!

Posted in Disturbing, Killer, Mentals, Poor Spelling | Leave a comment

Snap!

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Found on different days…
Wine
Paper ham
Pate
Tons
Onion
Luckys

Wine
Paper
Strawberries
Milk
Drugs
Dressing
Lucky’s

 

 

Posted in Second Coming | Tagged | Leave a comment

Bannanas

Calpol
Wet wipes
Milk
Fags
Bannanas

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Posted in Mentals, Northeners, Poor Spelling | 1 Comment

Safe and simple

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Lettuce
Special k
Milk
Cream
Bread

Steady on love, I know you’ve only got 4 years left but there’s no need to live like Keith bloody moon! Special k and lettuce? Is that to cover up for the pint of cream later on? Or is that cream for the 30 cats that live in your piss ridden bungalow?

Posted in Frustrated Old bats, Menopause | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Drugs and luckys

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Wine
Paper
Strawberry milk
Drugs
Dressing
Luckys

Drugs, wine and luckys? Ladies watch out this particular mentalist is hitting town!

Posted in Disturbing, Killer, Mentals | Leave a comment

You don’t win friends with salad

4 x chopped tomatoes
1 1/2 leg lamb diced
Mint
Coriander
1/2 pint natural yoghurt
Lime juice
Ginger
2 red onions
2 ” chillies
Rice
Lapes?
Chutneys
NO SALAD NEEDED!!!
Garlic
Rice

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Bloody hippies

Yoghurt
Beans
Salmon
Bananas
Raspberries

Bloody hippies. Get a job. I’m sick of this sort, loitering around waitrose in their festival trousers, mulling over quinoa and mung beans. Get some good honest pork chops and a can of tenants down you like the rest of us. Or are you too busy at pilates?

Posted in Self Satisified Yoghurt Eating Liberals | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Delhi belly!

Dehli belly!

Someone is venturing to the world of curry! Quick pop the poo paper in the fridge!

Onion
Skinless boneless thighs
Tikka masala paste
Veg stock?
Rice
Baby leaf spinach
Popps
Nan
Poo paper
Milk

Posted in A can of larger, Frustrated Old bats, Second Coming, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A ‘Gal’ I would like to meet…

PPPPHHHHHWWWWOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRR! PHWOAAAR!! PHWOAAAARRRRR!!!!!! PPPHHHHHHWWWWOOOOAAAAaaaaarrRRRRRR!!! PPHHHWOOOOAAARRRRR!!!! PPPPHHHWWWWOOOOAAAAARRRRRR! PHWOAAAR!! PHWOAAAARRRRR!!!!!! PPPHHHHHHWWWWOOOOAAAAaaaaarrRRRRRR!!! PPHHHWOOOOAAARRRRR!!!! PPPPHHHHHWWWWOOOOooooAARRRRRR! PHWOAAAR!! PHWOAAAARRRRR!!!!!! PPPHWWOAAAAaaaaarrRRRRRR!!! PPHHHWOOOOAAARRRRR!!!! PHWOAAAR!! PHWOAAAR!! PHWOAAAR!!

p.s I still want to know how much the onions weighed!

  • 1000g Breasts
  • Onions
  • 100g Mushrooms
  • 1000g Rhubarb
  • 200g Greek Yoghurt
  • 300ml Thick Cream
Posted in Boobs | 2 Comments

Note to self: Breathe in and out

Look at this little idiot. He’s been sent to the shops by his overbearing mother with a freshly scrawled note. Ingredients fine, not a problem. It’s the subtext reminding little Bertie to drink water or else he will shrivel and perish that I find objectionable, forgetful little twerp:

  • Yoghurt
  • Dbl Cream
  • Cake
  • Radish
  • Bread
  • Drink water
Posted in Children, Mentals, Self Satisified Yoghurt Eating Liberals | 3 Comments